Dismantle, Repair
by puckettful
Summary: After Sam and Freddie's break up, Sam leaves to live with her sister in Canada and Freddie leaves to enrol in MIT. Now, just over three years later they meet once again, however both now in separate relationships. Will things ever be the same for the two?
1. One

**A/N: This is just an idea that came to me one night that I felt inspired to write (Oooh, rhyming). The first few chapters are just to sort of 'set the mood' (That sounds weird…) so not much will be happening yet. I have the first few chapters already written so updates shouldn't be too spaced out, maybe once or twice a week? Anyway, please stick around and enjoy!**

**Rated T for safety.**

**I don't own iCarly, that's Dan Schneider's I'm afraid…**

_Three years, two months, a week and four days._

That's how long it'd been since Freddie and Sam broke up. Admittedly, they didn't break up like a normal couple would (but when had they ever been 'normal'?). There was no shouting or screaming, no accusations or betrayals, just an exchange of 'I love you' and 'I love you too'. Then that was it.

_Three years, one month, three weeks and a day._

That's how long it'd been since Freddie last saw Sam. Two weeks after they broke up, she left. He'd spent days (131), weeks (18), months (4) looking for her and he found nothing. All that remained of Sam ever being a part of Freddie's life were a few scribbled notes written on torn bits of school paper that had been flung at him during many of Mr Howard's classes, and memories. Freddie still had plenty of those.

However, after keeping hope of finding Sam, from October to February, Freddie decided to place the notes covered in Sam's untidy scrawl in a box, a small cardboard shoebox, and bury it deep inside his bedroom closet. Much like the metaphorical closet formed in his mind where he buried his memories of Sam in a small cardboard shoebox right at the back.

He gave up.

Then he said goodbye to his teary-eyed mother (who loved him enough to give him a tick bath every week up until the age of fifteen), his best friend (the last remaining host of iCarly, a web show that was ended soon after Sam's departure) and the city he'd spent the better part of his life in; and stepped onto a plane to Massachusetts, where he'd be attending MIT for the next three years of his life.

_A year, a month, two weeks and six days._

That's how long it'd been since the last time Freddie stepped onto the fire escape just down the hall from his old apartment. He'd come back to Seattle for part of winter break, like he did every year, so he could visit his mom and Carly when she came back to visit Spencer, who Freddie also came back yearly to see; yet this year he found himself arriving at Bushwell Plaza early, whilst his mother was at work. As Freddie wandered around the apartment complex waiting for his mother to return home and allow him entry to the flat he was currently locked out of, (his mother had never been keen to hand her son a spare set of keys as she worried he'd somehow manage to stab himself with them, get a fatal infection and die. Even after he'd gone to collage she worried about these sorts of things often) he found he'd subconsciously made his way to the fire escape.

"_I was just going to say that-"_

He found that those memories, the memories he'd buried deep in the bottom of the metaphorical cupboard in his mind, had began to over flow the moment he stepped out the building.

"_That we should kiss?"_

The next thing Freddie knows, he's sat on the iron steps. In the same position he was way back when blue cheese dressing in his shampoo bottle, his phone being sent to Cambodia and first kisses were his biggest problems.

"_Well… Should we? Just so both of us can get it over with?"_

It felt like his mind had been set onto autopilot.

"…_Just to get it over with."_

"_Just to get it over with."  
>"And you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over?"<em>

"_Totally. And we never tell anyone."  
>"Never."<em>

Freddie was shocked at how much he'd remembered. How real this _place _made it seem. Even after all this time.

"_Well… Lean."_

Freddie was abruptly brought back to reality by his mother's voice sounding from the other side of the window.

"Freddie-bear, what are you doing out here? It's freezing!" Marissa Benson licked her index finger before lifting it next to her face, a thoughtful expression on her face that quickly turned to a heavily anxious one. "It must be at least 39 Fahrenheit out here!"

Freddie just laughed (at his mother's strangely precise measure of temperature) and stepped back inside the apartment building, glad for the distraction from his memories of the girl who got away.

**Please let me know what you thought via the review button beloooooow. Constructive criticism is great, but please don't be_ too_ harsh.**


	2. Two

**A/N: Here's chapter two, I hope you like ittttttt.**

**I do not own iCarly.**

#

_Three years, two months, a week and four days._

That was the last time Sam had ever told anyone she loved them; romantically, I mean. It was also the _first _time she'd ever told anyone she loved them. It was also the _only _time she'd ever told anyone she'd loved them.

She'd told Freddie.

Freddie had told her.

And in that moment she believed him, but then the reality of the situation crashed down on her. They didn't work. They never have and they never would. This was inevitable.

She told herself, two weeks later as she packed her suitcases, that her leaving was also inevitable.

_Three years, one month, three weeks and a day._

That was the last time Sam had been in Seattle.

It wasn't an easy decision for Sam to leave, but she did. The blonde believed she was being completely selfless.

_I'm doing this for Freddie_.

Sam recalled the conversations Freddie had had with her during the time they were dating, about how he wanted to go to the best college and get the best job. Earn lots of money, live in a big house, be _successful_. Sam saw the way Freddie's eyes lit up when he told her this and she felt happy for him, she honestly did.

But the night they broke up, and he told her he loved her, she wasn't sure she could handle that commitment. Sure, she knew she loved him (and she let this be told) but knowing that he loved her back? She wasn't sure she could allow it. If he loved someone like Sam he wouldn't be able to achieve his dreams of college and money and big houses and success. Not if he was with a criminal. A thief. A tormentor. An overall 'bad seed'.

As said criminal, thief, tormentor, bad seed boarded the bus out to Vancouver, she repeated this in her head.

_I'm doing this for Freddie._

And she began to convince herself.

Melanie met her at the bus station on Sunday morning, jumping and squealing, hugging Sam so hard she thought she might suffocate. Sam choked out a strangled "Can't… Breathe…" before being let go by her sister. Melanie continued to grin at her twin. Sam gave a small smile in return.

She'd never been close to her twin (some sort of rivalry Sam had always felt since childhood after their father - who favoured Sam – left and Sam always felt second in comparison to her sister, in her mom's eyes) but Sam was grateful for what Melanie had done for her.

She'd called her sister up the evening before, after a long time's deliberation, and spoke three words into the receiver.

"_I need you," Sam managed to choke out._

_The next thing she knows she's telling Melanie every thing, her feelings for Freddie, the break up, how she doesn't want to bring him down or restrict him. For the first time in at least 11 years, Sam had let her sister through her walls. _

"I've missed you," Melanie announces once all the jumping up and down, squealing and suffocating hugging had died down.

"I know. Umm, and… thanks Mel." Sam sighed "For this. For everything."

"Don't mention it. Come on, we need to get your things."

A genuine smile spread across Sam's face as Melanie took her hand and dragged her over to collect her luggage, all the time babbling animatedly about how excited she was to have her sister back, how she'd have to show her around Vancouver soon, how she'd have to introduce Sam to her friends, the flat they'd be sharing...

#

**I just want to say thank you to _DannySamLover20, lumiforever, Bubbles of Angst_ and _rainbows-and-fries_ for the reviews and everyone who's put this story on alert and/or favourited it. (:**


	3. Three

Freddie just laughed (at his mother's strangely precise measure of temperature) and stepped back inside the apartment building, glad for the distraction from his memories of the girl who got away.

#

_Three months, three weeks and six days ago._

Freddie met Katherine.

Katherine was pretty, brown eyed, thin lipped. She had dark hair that was always neat and tamed; much like she was herself, Freddie supposed. She was often concerned about cleanliness and liked things to be _ordered_ and in their correct place. OCD had been suspected a few times (but was only down to some exaggerated characteristic…)

Her life was neat, she was tame and to most people she was boring.

But she was safe, and that was what Freddie needed. Someone who wouldn't just get up and go.

What Freddie really needed though, was someone he loved. But she'd been missing for years.

Katherine made the first move at the end of sixth period on a Wednesday. She walked over, black hair swaying mid-length, and stopped just in front of his desk with a flirty smile on her face, curling a strand of hair around one finger.

"Hey Freddie", Gathering his book, he looked up at her and stood, smiling politely back.

"How goes it?" He asked.

"Oh, you know, just the usual", There was an awkward pause as Freddie adjusted his bag strap on his shoulder and Katherine fluttered her eyelashes some more as though any second now her eyeballs would just drop out of her head.

"So… I was wondering," Katherine fluttered her eyelashes some more, "If maybe," And some more, "You wanted to go and get a coffee… Sometime?"

_Eight months, three weeks and four days ago._

Katherine and Freddie 'got a coffee'.

It was awkward and uncomfortable every time their hands brushed or their feet nudged the other's and Katherine's consistent analysis on the sanitary condition of the Skybucks they'd sat in was irritating Freddie, to say the least.

So irritating in fact that Freddie ended up kissing her, just to shut her up.

_Could've also been partly because he hadn't had a girlfriend in well over two years and he was pretty desperate_…

Since then, Katherine has told Freddie she's loved him (He hasn't been able to return the statement) on numerous occasions and they've been dating the past three months; even though Freddie had never formally asked her and it makes him feel bad every time they do something 'couple-ish' together and yet he knows he can't confidently say he has any romantic feelings towards this girl at all…

Freddie found himself in a safe (awkward) relationship with someone who often coddled him and had many similar characteristics to his mother…

Freddie still missed Sam though. Missed her fire, her unpredictability, the life she had and the happiness she left in the people who really knew her. He really missed the excitement Sam brought; something that Katherine lacked tremendously, he just didn't have the heart to break up with the girl.

If anything, Freddie was a coward. If he broke up with Katherine there was no telling what the girl was capable of. She could be very sneaky… I guess that was _one_ thing her and Sam had in common.

However, Freddie's life was boring.

_One week ago._

"Hi, Katherine."

"Freddie! Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, just calling to let you know I'm going home to Seattle for Christmas-"

"When?"

"Um, Wednesd-"

"Wednesday? I'll be able to come. What will I need to pack?"

"I didn't invi-"

"And I'll get to meet your Mom, _finally_! I've never been to Seattle before. It's cold, right? I'll bring sweaters. Hey, I'll call you back, okay?  
>"But Kath-"<p>

"I need to pack. We'll discuss plane times later. Bye."

Then she hung up before Freddie could argue that he had intended to go alone. He just shook his head and sighed.

#

**A/N: So sorry it's been a while since I last updated but I was busy with Christmas and such, hope you all had a great day c:**

**So as always, reviews are greatly appreciated. What do you think about Katherine?  
>I immediately don't like her 'cos she's dating Freddie. I'm biased like that...<strong>

**Anyway, THE PLOT THICKENS. A little… Next chapter we'll be finding out what's been going on with Sam. **

**Please try to contain your excitement.**

**REVIEW!**


	4. Four

A genuine smile spread across Sam's face as Melanie took her hand and dragged her over to collect her luggage, all the time babbling animatedly about how excited she was to have her sister back, how she'd have to show her around Vancouver soon, how she'd have to introduce Sam to her friends, the flat they'd be sharing...

_Three weeks and six days ago._

Sam had ended up missing out on any form of university education but still managed to find a job in a small pub, east of Douglas Park in Vancouver. The pay was healthy and the tips were good and she managed to contribute to the apartment's rent she shared with Mel and Rebecca; a mutual friend of the sisters' who attended the same university as Melanie. Rebecca was an artist and her creativity reminded Sam a lot of Spencer, although she was quiet a lot of the time and didn't have the same energy Spencer had, Rebecca was funny and had the same witty, sarcastic sense of humour as Sam and they got on well.

"Becky, I'm going down to McArthy's for my shift, I won't be back 'til late," Sam shouted into the apartment, one foot out the door. A faint "Okaaaaaay" could be heard erupting from Rebecca's room. "Tell Mel when she gets back. I'll see you later" Sam called out behind her as she walked out the door, stepped into the elevator, made her way through the lobby and stepped out into the cold December air.

Pulling her coat further around her body she began to walk.

Twenty five minutes later, Sam arrived at McArthy's and was welcomed by many of the regulars who were sat at the bar; drinks already in their hands even though it was only 6pm.

An hour or so into her shift, a man Sam didn't recognise walked into the bar. He couldn't have been much older than Sam, probably around the age of 22 or 23; he had dark hair, a piercing on his eyebrow and a mischievous glint shone in his dark eyes. He appeared to be a typical bad boy, one of the guys Sam was expected to go for. Sam even expected herself to be into guys like that, but all she could think as he confidently strode up to the bar was that he was nothing like Freddie. He was missing the gentle touch that Freddie owned, the modesty and the overall attitude that belonged to Freddie Benson, and Sam hadn't even said two words to this guy.

He leaned against the counter coolly and looked at her, "Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see"

Sam scoffed and rolled her eyes, amused by the lame pick up line he'd just used, "Really? Is that the best you could come up with?"

"I- …Yes. But hey, it must've worked. You're talking to me now, right?"

"Not for long."

The man chuckled and extended his hand towards the blonde, "I'm Gareth, and you are?"

Sam glanced at his extended hand but ignored it completely, "I'm Sam. Now what do you want?"

Gareth retracted his hand as his face turned back to one of flirtation, "I want you, sugar."

Sam just gave him her famous 'you've-got-to-be-kidding-me' look, but stayed silent.

"Fine, fine! I'll take a pint of lager, thank you."

She scoffed as she walked away, returning moments later with his drink then continuing to attend to the rest of the bar.

The next day, Gareth returned once again trying his luck with yet another lame pick up line. _("Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.") _And again the next day _("Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?") _and the next _("Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you've got fine written all over you") _until eventually, Sam caved.

_Three weeks and two days ago._

"Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart."

"Gareth. Really, these are getting worse and worse, just give up already." Sam said, although the amused expression that remained on her face deducted from the seriousness of her message and instead caused Gareth to laugh.

"Then just go on a date with me! We could go get a drink…"

"I've been getting you drinks for the past four days."

"No, not like that. You know what I mean. Please." Gareth asked pleadingly. Sam sighed, "Fine, I get off in twenty minutes."

Fifteen minutes later, doubts began creeping into her mind.

_You don't want this. You're settling. Of course, the first guy to show an interest in you and you'd cave. You're just lonely and desperate._

Yet the other part of her mind was simply saying:

_But Freddie stopped trying to get a hold of you months ago, he must've moved on. So should you._

The second part won.

They got a drink.

In fact, they both got drunk.

Gareth and Sam shared drunken kisses and she ended up spending the night at his.

#

**A/N: Wow. A _really_ long time between updates, I'm so so so sorry. I'll try and update more regularly from now on…**

**So the feedback from the last chapter was great, thank you to those who reviewed, I'm glad a lot of you dislike Katherine. And thanks Sadie (who Katherine was based on. Haha, sorry.) for pointing out a mistake in the last chapter regarding the dates. It won't affect the story from now on though so please try to forget about it, as I don't know how to correct it XD**

**Please review!**


	5. Five

They got a drink.

In fact, they both got drunk.

Gareth and Sam shared drunken kisses and she ended up spending the night at his.

_Three weeks and a day ago._

Sam found herself waking up in an unfamiliar bed next to a dark haired male. She sighed a breath of relief when she realised she was still dressed in last night's clothing.

The male turned over so he was facing Sam, still asleep, and Sam recognised the face as Gareth's. Short and brief flashbacks of the night before came back to her; the drinking, the kisses, stumbling to Gareth's apartment, more and more kisses, until she remembered them both in a fit of giggles, falling back onto his bed and completely passing out.

Gareth let out a groan and began to stretch, opening his eyes and not looking shocked at all to see Sam sat up right next to him. "Good morning, do you want some coff-"

"What do we do now?" Sam interrupts, still staring blankly ahead.

"We should try an…" He hesitates "…An us"

"Us?" Sam asks, finally turning to face him.

"Yea… you and me. Us"

Then it was Sam's turn to hesitate. Awkwardness filled the air and Sam began to feel uncomfortable. For some reason, thoughts of Freddie are brought to the front of her mind.

_Why would Freddie care if I got a new boyfriend? _I'm_ the one who left _him_, I shouldn't be feeling bad about this._

Sam nods and Gareth leans up into a seated position similar to her own, carefully studying her expression, a look of confusion on his own. "Yes." Sam states, although it sounds like more of a question, and she continues to nod as though she's trying to convince herself this is what she wants.

_Gareth's fine._ _But why don't I feel like I'm making the right choice?_

He leans up and brushes his lips against hers. It feels wrong, but Sam lets herself kiss back and forces the guilt rising in her chest back.

Maybe she just needs time to get used to this…

_One week ago._

Sam's fairly sure Gareth doesn't feel it, but she can't help but feel uncomfortable in his presence, in his arms or his kiss. It just doesn't… Feel… Right.

She said she'd give it time, but two weeks had gone by and her feelings hadn't changed at all. She still felt guilty and couldn't get the thoughts of Freddie to leave her mind at rest.

Over the three years since she left Seattle she missed Freddie, Carly, Spencer and even her Mom, but only recently, _since she started dating Gareth_, she's felt an insistent need to go back.

To go _home_.

So that's what Sam did.

Without a moment's hesitation, she packed a single bag with only a few necessities and got onto the next coach out of Vancouver, to Seattle.

**#**

**Sorry that it's been such a long time since I last updated. I'd say it won't happen again but there's really no promise, so my apologies. I'll be trying though (:**

**Also, I've been working on a couple of one shots as well that I might upload later on, just as little side things that I'm counting as 'revision' for my English exam in two weeks. It's a good excuse…**

**Review?**


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